Time waster

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I 100% have things to do.  I just can’t seem to get them done. I’ve been slacking on my entire life the last few days, and last night, things got worse.   My father was taken to the hospital for the shakes, chills, blood and vomit.   My father has been fighting a rare form of leukemia for 12 years.  yes, 12. My father is a fucking fighter.  Now we are waiting for the results of the biopsy he had yesterday afternoon to tell us if he’s going to have to fight prostate cancer as well.  I’m really hoping that he doesn’t.  He fights enough.   Im overwhelmed with worry as my father lays in a hospital bed with an infection running through him.   Because of the cancer, there are a lot of antibiotics that he can not take.  They are now calling in a special team of doctors to figure out the right dose of the right medication so that he can be better.  They specialize in exotic infections……………………. BE BETTER, PLEASE.   Normally, I would be here taking him drinks and letting the dogs out.  Randomly chatting with him when I take breaks from my orders. Today is silent. Today is strange.   I don’t like it.

To make my heart heavier,  today I finished the piece of Amy for her sister, Maggie.  It took me awhile to finish this.   I had originally made this for Brandy, one of Amys best friends, and a friend of mine.  Another friend Rob [also a good friend of Amy. ]  saw it and wanted one. I made one for him.  Maggie, in turn, saw it via one of their posts, and I offered to make her one.  Every time I did it, it was hard.  I’m drawing her face. Her pretty face. The face that squealed when something jumped out at her in a game because she was kind of a big baby with stuff like that.  The face that was attached to the person that encouraged me to be where I am today.    It’s easy to start the drawing.  It’s just some lines.   But as I filled it in. I shaded it.  You start to see Amy, and I start to get sad.  I miss her.   We weren’t super super close, but she was in my life enough to make an impact on me.   I will be forever grateful that I knew her in any type of way.   I will forever feel bad that that people that didn’t know her will never get that chance.   I hope where ever Amy is, she is splinter celling down dark hallways, playing with Olive, and watching over us all.  She is a beautiful star looking over all of us now.  I miss her.   I can’t stress that enough.  I miss getting tweets “TAKING A SHOWER. WHERE IS MY SHOWER SISTER”  or us talking about how we’d like to be penguins and toads.. and how we should totally be little sisters together.  Her encouraging me and telling everyone how much she loves my dolls and how shes proud of me for them.   I crocheted her a tiny little cock keychain – and that girl sported it like it was the best thing ever. She always reminded me how much she loved the Hello Kitty I made.

 

– sigh –   it’s a heavy day today and I hate how the awful things always happen to the best people.

 

 

 

The main idea of this post is FUCK CANCER.

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